What's it like being an international business kid?
What's it like being an international business kid?
“I don’t know what it’s like to be a corporate kid. I only know what it’s like to be me.”
This was the conclusion we came to as we discussed trying to explain our experiences as corporate kids who grew up abroad. Unlike missionary kids, military kids, and foreign service kids, the experience of most corporate TCKs is not a group experience. Most of us don’t feel a sense of belonging with our parents’ company. Those in some industries do, if there are a lot of them assigned together (like the self-proclaimed “Oil Brats”) but for most of us it doesn’t feel like we’re doing anything special. Our parent/s are working and we are going to school and just living life as a family.
So, how do you explain ordinary?
This was the conclusion we came to as we discussed trying to explain our experiences as corporate kids who grew up abroad. Unlike missionary kids, military kids, and foreign service kids, the experience of most corporate TCKs is not a group experience. Most of us don’t feel a sense of belonging with our parents’ company. Those in some industries do, if there are a lot of them assigned together (like the self-proclaimed “Oil Brats”) but for most of us it doesn’t feel like we’re doing anything special. Our parent/s are working and we are going to school and just living life as a family.
So, how do you explain ordinary?
Not knowing what you don’t know
For me (Kate) being a corporate TCK was really nothing fancy. Sure, I lived in more hotels than I can count on my fingers, and traveled overseas for nearly every school break. But it all just felt so ordinary. No grand mission on which my parents were setting out, no dinners at embassies representing Madagascar. Just Mom’s new job. In another country.
It’s so ordinary that I (Tanya) didn’t even think about the hotels and international travel as being part of my corporate kid experience until I read those words! It was my individual family’s experience, and while it was a different experience to many of my friends’ families, it never occurred to me that there were other families out there like mine. Even though I knew other corporate kids, from other countries!
This is often part of what it is like to be a corporate TCK: not realising you are part of a wider community of TCKs worldwide, that there is language to describe what you are going through, and a range of resources that you and your family will relate to.
It’s so ordinary that I (Tanya) didn’t even think about the hotels and international travel as being part of my corporate kid experience until I read those words! It was my individual family’s experience, and while it was a different experience to many of my friends’ families, it never occurred to me that there were other families out there like mine. Even though I knew other corporate kids, from other countries!
This is often part of what it is like to be a corporate TCK: not realising you are part of a wider community of TCKs worldwide, that there is language to describe what you are going through, and a range of resources that you and your family will relate to.
There have been lots of hotels and travel - but it's not always fun.
The unexpected move
I (Kate) can vividly remember the day we were told we were moving for the second time. I was 11, and my dad had taken me and my brother out for lunch. We were enjoying our sushi when he suddenly said: “Hey guys, there’s something I need to tell you.” I immediately knew what was going on, “We’re moving again aren’t we?” The conversation became a blur. Gabon seemed a mysterious land then, so far removed from everything that was real. We took it in stride, of course. What else was there to do? That’s how life worked. Mom visits a country a couple weeks at a time, and eventually we move there. Friends, our house, familiar sceneries – they were props to our story of relocation.
When I (Tanya) was 13, my family knew Dad’s job was going to move us to the US, but we didn’t know when. This had happened before. We waited a long time for the call that sent us from Sydney to Canberra – a month into the new school year. Fast forward nearly five years, to the last day of 8th grade. My dad finally got the call: we were moving to the US! My mum called my school to get the news to me before I got on the bus for the end-of-year picnic so I could say goodbye to all my friends. But then it didn't happen- the move was postponed. I showed up again to start 9th grade at my Australian school, was there for 10 weeks, then - finally - moved to the US. I only did 6 weeks of 8th grade there, and then it was time for another summer break. It didn't matter what time table worked well for school. You see, when the company says it’s time to move, it’s time to move.
When you’re a corporate kid, it influences your childhood in lots of ways – many of which you aren’t even aware of. One of those experiences is that there is a company calling the shots for your family’s international transitions. The timing of when your parent needs to be where for their job is completely out of your control. Even if your parents decide that the timing isn’t great for your schooling, their choices are limited. Either you transition schools at an awkward time, or your family lives separated for a time.
When I (Tanya) was 13, my family knew Dad’s job was going to move us to the US, but we didn’t know when. This had happened before. We waited a long time for the call that sent us from Sydney to Canberra – a month into the new school year. Fast forward nearly five years, to the last day of 8th grade. My dad finally got the call: we were moving to the US! My mum called my school to get the news to me before I got on the bus for the end-of-year picnic so I could say goodbye to all my friends. But then it didn't happen- the move was postponed. I showed up again to start 9th grade at my Australian school, was there for 10 weeks, then - finally - moved to the US. I only did 6 weeks of 8th grade there, and then it was time for another summer break. It didn't matter what time table worked well for school. You see, when the company says it’s time to move, it’s time to move.
When you’re a corporate kid, it influences your childhood in lots of ways – many of which you aren’t even aware of. One of those experiences is that there is a company calling the shots for your family’s international transitions. The timing of when your parent needs to be where for their job is completely out of your control. Even if your parents decide that the timing isn’t great for your schooling, their choices are limited. Either you transition schools at an awkward time, or your family lives separated for a time.
Wishing for support
As corporate kids it’s rare for us to have knowledge and support around being TCKs, especially those of us who don’t attend international schools. When I (Tanya) was 15, I repatriated to Australia. I had struggled at my local school overseas, feeling out of place, and was looking forward to returning to my passport country and being ‘normal’ again. Spoiler alert: that was not what happened. Even though there were a lot of supports to help me settle in, it took a good year for me to start feeling comfortable. I spent that time wondering what was wrong with me. It would be another ten years before I realised I was a TCK, when I read about repatriation and understood for the first time that what I went through was really normal.
If there’s one thing I (Kate) wish I had growing up, it would be someone by my side validating my hard feelings. There’s a picture of me at 14 years old on my mom’s Facebook page, where I’m standing with my brothers in our new school uniforms. We’re about to head out for our first day, and let me tell you - I look wrathful. Who could blame me? The year before, I had found my girls. A group of loving, kindhearted souls with whom I celebrated all birthdays, discovered all restaurants, sang all the songs. I had met my people. And I was supposed to just – leave them? That was not an easy pill to swallow. People in the comments seemed amused by my mom’s post. “What’s up with Kate?” they would tease. “Well,” I think, “She was torn away from her best friends, and nobody seemed to think it a big deal.”
Our parents did the best they could with the information they had. Parenting isn’t easy, and parenting teenagers can be difficult at the best of times. Living internationally, going through international moves, navigating schools in other countries – this is definitely not the best of times. Parenting internationally is hard – and too many parents are left to navigate this on their own. Corporate families are often given financial support, maybe a little help finding a house and a school, but beyond that? It’s rare that they get support navigating how crossing cultures impacts childhood, parenting, and more. Our parents/families didn’t know what TCKs were, what repatriation was, and how all these transitions were impacting our bodies, emotions, social lives, and academics.
If there’s one thing I (Kate) wish I had growing up, it would be someone by my side validating my hard feelings. There’s a picture of me at 14 years old on my mom’s Facebook page, where I’m standing with my brothers in our new school uniforms. We’re about to head out for our first day, and let me tell you - I look wrathful. Who could blame me? The year before, I had found my girls. A group of loving, kindhearted souls with whom I celebrated all birthdays, discovered all restaurants, sang all the songs. I had met my people. And I was supposed to just – leave them? That was not an easy pill to swallow. People in the comments seemed amused by my mom’s post. “What’s up with Kate?” they would tease. “Well,” I think, “She was torn away from her best friends, and nobody seemed to think it a big deal.”
Our parents did the best they could with the information they had. Parenting isn’t easy, and parenting teenagers can be difficult at the best of times. Living internationally, going through international moves, navigating schools in other countries – this is definitely not the best of times. Parenting internationally is hard – and too many parents are left to navigate this on their own. Corporate families are often given financial support, maybe a little help finding a house and a school, but beyond that? It’s rare that they get support navigating how crossing cultures impacts childhood, parenting, and more. Our parents/families didn’t know what TCKs were, what repatriation was, and how all these transitions were impacting our bodies, emotions, social lives, and academics.
Resources for international business families
Looking back, I (Kate) am happy to realise that I don’t feel bitter anymore. Sad, perhaps, for my poor father, afraid of breaking our hearts through news that wasn't easy for him. Wistful for a life growing up in one place, with neighbours that would treat me like family and summers spent by the same beach every year. But that isn’t the only story. I loved my life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. And, I know that there are many ways in which it could have been better. Yes, being a corporate TCK comes with uncomfortable emotions. Grief, anger, loneliness. But, at least in my case, never quite regret the life that was.
As I (Tanya) have surveyed hundreds of TCKs about their experiences, I’ve found this is a common response. Even though we go through hard things, most of us are able to integrate our experiences and appreciate the good things we received through our international childhoods. That said, we have higher rates of mental illness and other concerns – and prevention is better than cure!
This is why both of us are so thankful to have worked at TCK Training, to be part of the solution – creating free and cost-effective resources we wish our families had when we were growing up, and that we wish all families living internationally could receive today.
As I (Tanya) have surveyed hundreds of TCKs about their experiences, I’ve found this is a common response. Even though we go through hard things, most of us are able to integrate our experiences and appreciate the good things we received through our international childhoods. That said, we have higher rates of mental illness and other concerns – and prevention is better than cure!
This is why both of us are so thankful to have worked at TCK Training, to be part of the solution – creating free and cost-effective resources we wish our families had when we were growing up, and that we wish all families living internationally could receive today.
Here are some resources we highly recommend to corporate families like ours:
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